Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
