Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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