I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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