in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
