trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
