It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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