If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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