I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
