Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
