The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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