Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
