I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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