We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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