Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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