The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He felt like a one man threesome
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
my poor anus
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize