that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize