the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
this will be a night to untag.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
