16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
