i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
