At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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