I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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