I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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