i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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