i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
