is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
