Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
