Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
