then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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