what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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