i don't like sucking hair
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
