I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
two words...techno handjob
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
