She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
