he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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