the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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