I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
