We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
