my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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