did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
