Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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