Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
