Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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