East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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