Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
