people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
