All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize