Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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