I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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