She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
