scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
