they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
