There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize