we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
