think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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