they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
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Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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