Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
