some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
