Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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