My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
