Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
