Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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