No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
